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joanne25's Blog


Memorial Day

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thinking

Wondering Wat I cud have done differently in my life. I got a lot to be proud of but then again your past always comes to remind you that you no better then anyone else. Trying to move forward Is hard but I know I got a God who is with every step of the way in this life of mine .

thinking

Wondering Wat I cud have done differently in my life. I got a lot to be proud of but then again your past always comes to remind you that you no better then anyone else. Trying to move forward Is hard but I know I got a God who is with every step of the way in this life of mine .

the army life

So here I am again writing another blog. It's been so long so I will catch you guys up on what become of my life. Well in March I left for basic training and I graduated the end of may and went straight to AIT and graduated from that in late July. I went home for all of 3 else. Then left to my forth duty station in August. My life in the army is no cake walk in the park. It has it's UPS and downs sometimes I just wanna go home other times I just wish to be dead and other day im just very happy. My mood is all over the place ever Subaru got here. I did manage to meet a great guy who has bn keeping me happy. Im lucky to have him in my life.I do miss my family and friend back.in NYC. I still keep in touch with them but barely. I don't know what else to write so I'll leave it at that till im done with thi post.

Proud Future Soldier

Wow its rly starting to hit me now. I will be leaving for bootcamp in 55 days. I'm ready for whatever life throws at me along the way. As i begin this new chapter in my life. I just wanna say thank you to all of you guys you read my posts and gave me positive feedback when i needed it. Right now im just a bit scared n excited but also a bit bothered. A bit bothered because there are ppl who try to talk me out of goin and try to dicourage. that discouragement only makes me want to push myself even harder to show them that Im not gonna fail at this and I wont fail at this. I'll miss my fam I'll miss my friends but I gotta do whats best for me to better myself. I dont see myself do anything else. I wanna make my family proud show them I'm not gonna end up like my other bro ther and sisters working at dead end jobs that they hate. I wanna do something that I can be proud of. Be apart of something bigger then me.. I proud of myself for making this decision I cant remeber the last I was this happy abt any decision I have made for myself. I'm proud to be a future soldier and soon enuff become that soldier my family will be proud of and be proud to wake up every morning to put on that uniform. HOOAH!

future Army Soldier =] HOOAH!!!!

so these past few weeks I have bn working out a lot. the reason why  have been working out a lot is because I want to join the army and before I join I want to make sure that I am physically fit and not out of shape. I'm suppose to be taking the ASVAB pretty soon I was suppose to take it on thursday but I dont know what happened. the army rcruiter never showed up to bring me to the place where I was suppose to take the exam. I know that I am very ready for this test I have been studying non stop for it. I just want to do something different with my life, experience new things, and learn some things about myself along the way. I guess I can say I am embarking on a new journey through life. I have tried the whole college thing but i just feel like it isn't for me. I just feel like this is the best thing for me. I can get a career out of it and maybe along the way I can finish my bachelor degree in psychology. My family thinks I'm a bit of a nut for wanting to go intot he military but ehat can they do it's my decision and it's just something that they going to have to accept. I cant rly say when I am going to leave cuz I haveent even started the enlistment precess I still have to take the asvab and get my physical done. but maybe hopefull latest in january  or maybe even sooner then that. I just know that I ready for wherever life will take me as i set off on this new journey. So just a heads up to the friend who read this, that this may be my last post for a very long while or maybe i'll post up a new one before I leave for basic whenever that is. HOOAH!!!!!!! =]

life

have you ever just questions your life. Like actually took a very long look at your life and wondered what am I doing with this life i was given. well today it just hit me I was just sitting in room taking a very long look at my life and thinkin about all I have accomplished and  I must say I havent rly done anything with my life thats worthwhile. I always that by the age of 25 I would be living the life I have always wanted, having my hearts desires. living my dream, but at this point I am no where near havin my hearts desires you cant expect things to just be handed to you, you have to work for it. Its just wishful thinkin if i think that i can accomplish everything overnight.. For now I think im just gonna take things slowly and try and live my life without the stress of thinkin I will nvr accomplish anything. I can be a very negative person at times but no more from now on I'm just gonna live my life like its my last and learn to enjoy the little things that cross my path. I have a long life ahead of me why stress so much I have enough time in life to fulfill my life's purpose I may not know what it is but i feel like I am one step closer to achieving it.

guys suck they rly do kno how to play with a girls emotions =/

so far life is hmmm not rly sure. i guess things are just complicated. for one i got kicked out of school. two i cant find a job n no one wants to hire me. but i guess this month things has gotten a lil better for me. so i have bn talking to this guy on and off for abt two yrs n abt two weeks ago on july 3rd i went over to  his apt just to chill but one thing led to anther n u can guess what happened from there dont worry i didnt sleep with the guy nor did i have intentions to. he has bn gettin on my nerves lately. today he started arguing with me because I said I wouldnt be able to go out with him this weekend because i had already made to go out with my friends on friday and saturday my fam had plans. it rly annoyed that he got so upset cuz he told that i dont wanna spend anytime with him which i do. i just ended the convo n have bn competly ignoring him ll day since then. What psets me even more is he is always talkin abt other girls on his fb status so im beginning to wonder whether i should even bother talking to him anymore cuz im not rly sure if he the faithful type of guy. im not gonna stress it tho. I guess i should just forget abt him and move on. 

i just get the feeling that he dont rly wanna be with me, now he just seems like the type that would cheat. guys suck they certainly kno how to play with a girl emotions. this is makin me feel so down right now. Well thanx for reading. suck My mood: extremely bummed

Bad day indeed

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wow I'm turning 25 in 3 months

I kinda feel like I let myself down. I'm gonna be 25 and still have yet to do anything with my life . I had this whole plan for my life thinking I would have already graduated from college, married, and successful and still nothing. I have nothing. ppl are always telling me that I still too young to be thinking about marriage that I have enough time to think about that and that its overated of course they gonna say that cuz they are already married. Now that I'm thinking about it; a quarter of my life will be over. kinda makes me feel like a loser lol

my letter to God

I dont know why I feel so alone. I just feel like no matter how much I pray to you things just seem to get worser then better in my life that it just doesnt make sense to pray anymore so why bother with it. Sometimes i just wish you were there more I just need you. Sometimes i just wanna give in. I'm just tired of pretending that everything is okay in my life when i know it's not. I just want to know why you allow all these things to happen. I dont why it just feels like you not there and you dont care. I just dont understand. I try and I try to be a better but somehow I always manage to mess things up for myself. I just feel like this is the only way i can talk to you. Somtimes I wish I could just see you face to face so you can see that everything is not alright. I know ppl are always telling me atleast they used to tell me that you never left my side but I just cant seem to believe that anymore. How can i believe in something that just doesn't seem to make sense to anymore. Why are you letting me go through alll of this alone. why does it feel like I have no one. i just want joy back i just need to know that everything will be alright and you are still by side and you never left it. i know I may have made mistakes and im sorry. I just need things to get  better in my life. I need you. Sometime I just wisk I could run into you arms but whtat the point you dont care no one does and I guess i'm okay with that I can manage without you or with anyone else.


just thinking

just thinking what my next step will be go and talk to the dean of my college to see if I was academically dismissed or just quit school and get a job. I really gotta think long and hard about this decision because once I make this decision I'm not changing my mind. I think I put myself into a very bad situation this semester and I dont I will be able to get out of this one this time. Last semester I was on academic probation and had a gpa under a 1.0 and this semester my gpa raised up to a 1.750 so I'm not really sure whats gonna happen now. I'm just worried about whats gonna happen know when I go to the school on thursday to see whats gonna happen with me. I'm just hoping I dont get kicked out of school cuz of my GPA. I really try my best semester but I guess my best wasnt good enuff. UGHHHH I'm feeling like a complete loser/failure right now I just wish i wasnt such a dummy.

this just isnt working out =[

I have no where to study for finals. I have no personal space or privacy in this house anymore ever since more people moved into the house. I cant blog without ppl constantly asking what Im typing. It's just so frustrating living at home right now. I wish I could just pick up and move but I dont have a job to actually move out on my own but if I did have a job I would go out and look for an apartment. AHHHH it just feels so cluttered at home I have no space to walk thru the house and everything is just all over the place and just typing is just making me upset. Sometimes I just cry cuz I cant rly tell them how annoyed I am with them living here now. I feel like I lost all my privacy I dont know what to do. I dont even know where I can go to just sit in silence in this house anymore. I just want to SCREAM at the TOP of my LUNGS!!!!! =[
My mood: pretty bummed

IDK

So once again here I am bored with nothing to do. I had a pretty ok day. I went to church the sermon was pretty boring. Well I'm just sitting here thinking and wondering about this guy at my college he is pretty cute but the only problem is that I cant really tell if he likes me or not. He is contantly staring at me at the lounge in my school but I just dont know what to do I like him but I dont waI d nna approach and start talking to him shouldnt the guy approach the girl. Well I everytime I go to the lounge on a specific day I see him there and when I go to sit down I can tell from the corner of my eye that he is looking at me like every 5 minutes and at times I must admit I do the same thing and we end staring at each other awkwardly and turning our head away quickly. IDK what to do should I approach him or should I wait for him to approach me I dont wanna seem like one of those desperate types so what do you thnk guys. you inputis greatly appreciated. =] 

LIFE!!!

Sometimes we take life for granted and don't realize how precious our life is. this past week I have been thinking about how far I came along despite everything I have been trough. I beginning to realize how lucky I was to alwasy have someone around to help through it all, but most importantly God. I been thinking a lot about my own life and about my future. I begining to realize how I didnt take things seriously in my life especially school. I dont wanna live with regrets theres so much I wanna do with my life before I get too old to accomplish anything in my life. As of right now I'm taking school more seriously because I dont wanna be in school at the age of thirty. I wanna be living my dream which i hope one day I will be able to accomplish that. LIFE is SHORT and we DONT LIVE FOREVER. =]


my day so far

well lets see today has been one of those days where i just relax and basically do nothing. I am in school rite now super bored with nothing to do hoping the time will pass fast for my next class to start. I really hate having 2 hr breaks they are jsut really inconvenient to me. I'm in barnes and noble using their wifi to get on the internet with my laptop. ugh how i wish this day would go by fast so i can head home for the day. I got my grade back for my exam wasnt very happy with that considering the fact that I stood up all night studying fodr this damb exam n still didnt get the grade I was hoping to get. IDK it's like everything I studied completely left my mind the minute I got the exam I managed to remember some things but the rest just seem like gibberish to me. Gosh I really dissappointed at myself for the grade I got but I always have next exam to do better. Next one I get I'll make sure of I get an A. Well thats it for now

Up to this point I am still in shock

well today has to be one of the best days of my life. well I received an unexpected check in the mail which is weird because I have been in need of money for some time now, then all of a suddend I get this chk of 2400. It blew my mind away. I kept looking at it think is this check real is that really my name on that check. I even showed it to my sisters just to make sure I was not seeing things. I showed it to my dad and my dad mae it certain that this chk was real. Up to this point I am still in shock I even have this check. =D
My mood: pretty happy

have you ever felt this way?

idk for the past few weeks I just been waking up with the biggest smile on face. I just been so happy with no reason to explain why. I just have this feeling like something ood coming my way. Maybe it could what I have been waiting to happen for years IDK but what ever it is I hope it is the best thing that could ever happens for me.

back to school again

well tommorow i start classes I'm a lil happy but also a bit bummed. This summer was pretty lame didnt rly go out much only fun I had was when I went to six flags and to pennsylvania for the weekend. I rly should start taking school more seriously tho cuz my grade were rly bad last semester. So I gotta get rite on top of that once school start tomorrow no more slacking off being lazy and procrastinating all the time and leaving things for the last minute. Well I wont rly have time to be on EP as much but I'll try and make sure I check everyday to how my friends are doing.

my weekend

well this weekend I got to get away from New York. I went to this resort in PA. I had the best weekend ever. But my brother in laws spent the whole weekend annoying me I just wanted to kill them the whole weekend. May have only been for a few days but it helped tot ake my mind off of things. I t just felt so peaccfull over there. Just really wishing I didnt have to go back to NY. I really hate NY now .

Im just realizing that school start next week. this summer went by too slow and I'm just kinda happy that summer is over and back to schoool I go I really need to buckle down when school starts gotta pick up my GPA and make sure that I get good grades cuz my financial aid is on the line. I already got one warning the next is the boot from school.

1-20 of 32 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Memorial Day, posted May 26th, 2014
thinking, posted January 22nd, 2013
thinking, posted January 22nd, 2013
the army life, posted November 11th, 2012
Proud Future Soldier, posted January 17th, 2012
future Army Soldier =] HOOAH!!!!, posted September 17th, 2011
life, posted July 18th, 2011
guys suck they rly do kno how to play with a girls emotions =/, posted July 12th, 2011
Bad day indeed, posted May 11th, 2011
wow I'm turning 25 in 3 months, posted March 29th, 2011, 9 comments
my letter to God, posted January 23rd, 2011, 3 comments
just thinking, posted January 3rd, 2011, 1 comment
this just isnt working out =[, posted December 15th, 2010
IDK, posted November 14th, 2010
LIFE!!!, posted November 2nd, 2010, 2 comments
my day so far, posted October 14th, 2010
Up to this point I am still in shock, posted September 30th, 2010, 2 comments
have you ever felt this way?, posted September 24th, 2010
back to school again, posted September 7th, 2010
my weekend, posted August 31st, 2010
uhhhh, posted August 24th, 2010
hello, posted August 17th, 2010
my week, posted August 13th, 2010
just felt the desire to write, posted August 6th, 2010
my day today, posted July 24th, 2010, 6 comments
worst week ever, posted July 21st, 2010, 3 comments
venting, posted July 19th, 2010, 1 comment
my heart sank =[, posted June 29th, 2010
thinking, posted June 12th, 2010
just thinking, posted June 8th, 2010
out of control, posted May 12th, 2010
short tempered, posted April 28th, 2010
sometimes I wonder, posted April 27th, 2010, 1 comment
=/, posted April 12th, 2010

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